Saturday, September 23, 2006

open the eyes, clean out the heart

oh God, oh God...
theres so much, so so much that i'll never understand. that i'll never get right. why am i the way i am? why do i live in this mindset? of always thinking of the future, a mind that makes it near impossible for me to enjoy today for all today when i'm thinking of what tomorrow is going to be like.. where are you going to call me? i find it like an impossible plan that you have for me to just live in tacoma washington and work at alaka airlines for the rest of my life, it doesnt seem wher eyou want me forever. oh father Jesus calm my soul, only you can do it. please just rest my spirit, make it calm so that i can follow through with your plan today. today for today, i will live tomorrow when it comes. i will look at every person as a child of you, as a sister or brother, father God, broken and fallen, we're all the same. father God build me with wisdom and trust. with so much faith in you. father Lord strengthen me with the obedience to leave the distractions, with a heart and a mind that chooses to focus on your path and will. father God, i want a spirt that no one can touch. that the enemy looks at as imposible because i'm so focused on you father Lord, as only yours forever. oh Lord, shape and mold my heart and mind into loving who you've created me to be and to loving this life as is. with such a strong conviction, knowing what is of you and what is not. with clarity in that. and with obedience in that. with never comparing myself to others, Lord. i am yours, I am kelly tuttle. thats who i am and thats who you've called me to be. today, i will do my best , my absoulte very best to bless you and praise your name. i pray for protection, from the enemy, for my family and friends, for our spirits. father god. protect them. for us to fall so in love with you, all of you father God. you are our home. clean out my heart and mind father Lord. i really pray for a heart thats clean and pure. thats totally all about you and praising and loving you. i dont want to prove anything to anyone, i shouldnt have to say anything father God. its all about your light, its all about your praise, father Lord and i will lose myself in that, in praising and worshipping and loving all of you. oh God you're so beautiful, my precious savior. equipt me with the words to speak, that you put on my heart father God i pray that you speak in my life, speak loudly Lord. i give my life to you lord, all day every day. this is such a difficult journey but oh God, my God, you're the only one worth anything. you have my heart, all of it. every piece of my life father Jesus, i lay it down at your precious feet.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

help me see what you want me to see

drained and worn out. all up and all down. blessed and cursed. i seek to find my stability only in you. only hope, your presense, your sound, your strength. to build me into the image you've had from the beginning. attacks from the back, from the front is the truth, i sink to miss it, all broken and bruised. so many words, only one truth. all that i've created for was found only in you. the past is a demon, i've been blessed to remind, what really did happen, a conqury at a time. your brilliant creations ive abused to compare, myself to all else, so far from your plan. your purpose neglected, avoided then trusted. such a child like mind, you mold into a child like heart, my daddy, my papa, nothing will ever keep us apart. after the clouds, soon comes the storm, i tilt my head up a bit, i only want to know you much more!

Friday, September 15, 2006

i want to be used

i want to be great. i am content with my life, i am grateful for my life. i was thinking about it yesterday, i was on my break and i was listening to my music and i was outside completly in awe of this life and his beauty. and i was thinking about how i would get so annoyed because any free time of mine, justin wanted to be on the phone. (ps i now hate the phone). i've been so blessed. its me and him, my favorite, my all.
i want to be used. i really want to lead a life of integrity and growth.
i'm looking too hard. i'm looking to be used too hard, to find what your purpose is. to seek out your will.
you want me to be still? why oh why. you know i hate that.
i'm so blessed with this life but i feel like i got to keep going and searching, moving and looking to be used in a bigger and more effective way. help me understand your seasons, your plans. your past. all of you. everything about you.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

til i see you

the greatest love that anyone could ever know.. that overcame the cross and grace to find my soul.. and till i see you face to face and grace amazing takes me home.. i'll trust in you.
with all i am i'll live to see your kingdom come, and in my heart i pray you let your will be done.
until i see you face to face, grace amazing takes me home. i'll trust in you..
i will live to love you, i will live to bring you praise.. i will live a child in awe of you..
you are the voice that called the universe to be.. you are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me..
and til i see you face to face, and grace amazing takes me home i'll trust in you..
you alone are God of all, you alone are worthy Lord.. and with all i am my soul will bless your name..

My God My God..
what can i do for you? honestly i feel like all this love i have inside of my heart is just wasting away, my heart aches to please and bless you. with all i am i do want to serve you, and i dont want to accept that i'm going to fail. thats not good enough for me. to just live a life thats full of blessing you and hurting you, humbly admitting my failures.
your whispers.. Oh Lord, be clear. make your paths clear and peaceful. what have i done!! what have i done to deserve so much love from you? oh My king, what can i do that will be enough? even a lifetime of blessing you isnt enough. it simply isnt enough and sitting in this chair taking calls after calls isnt enough, theres too much that needs to be done! too many souls Lord that need to be led back to you! they are yours, oh my King, we are your children. thank you so much for your protection.
i simply cant get enough of you. your majestic love molding my spirt into a new one full of hope and passion.

you're the greatest love anyone could ever know, i'm simply so in love with you. i cant wait to kiss you, to bow down and humble all i am to you as i bow down to my feet and look up to see you hold out your hand. oh my Jesus, my Jesus i love you so much. im so in awe, so in complete awe i never want to go away from you. please dont let me fall again, my Father i'm sick of getting back up. i want to stay right here with you, in your presense, use me as you want. wherever that may lead, father I pray for your protection, for your kindness and love. for your faithfullness, grace and mercy. .your open, loving arms that accept me time and time again pushing me down your path. i cant wait to see you.