Tuesday, April 28, 2009

i miss you.

yet i run, i still run Jesus. i still run from you.
i literally run, i miss you.
my prayers are getting more distant, im becoming more familuar and comfortable with feeling this seperation, with choosing ME.
Jesus and its not worth it its not worth it i know its not worth it, save me.
what have i done? i have totally made these decisions and brought my life into this.. well to this mess. my life is such a mess without you, my HEAD is such a mess without you, my HEART is such a mess without you.

God, put people in my life that will encourage me to you, to seek you. i want to seek you, i want to. i just.. dont want to. i just dont want to do it. i miss you but Father i'm scared that i dont miss you enough
because i know, i know if i missed you enough,
i would run right to you, right to you Father.

please, take me.
oh God this prayer is so scary. clean this heart of mine, take it Father dont let me let you go even more.
whatever that looks like, oh God whatever that looks like